disintegrate

rate

"A family is like a team - Together Everyone Acheive a same Mission"
-Liying-----------------------------------------------------

I am still doing my research on ~~dreams~~, so i will start on this topic first.
FAMILY

(Before that, I want to say that, I have added pictures on the outing yesterday. Its below this post. :) edited.)

I know about certain people with family problems, however, what caused all these?

Family is defined as "A group of blood related people, living under one roof." & this is how it goes.

I don't actually tell people that I'm from a problem free family, because I have my own reasons. I don't come from a family that is extremely free from problems. Be it, monetary, relationship or otherwise. Although from a 3rd person's point of view, my family might be one of the best family combination or something. However, I can tell you that the answer is not.

My mum wanted to give birth to only 2 children initially, however, in year 1998, my mum got pregnant. At that point of time, my 2nd sister was only 4. She was a young girl, who knew nothing of such. Until recently, my family became chaotic.
The moment someone stepped into the house, no matter, how much you tried to stop a 'war' from breaking out, it will still do. My 2nd sister, now a teenager like me, have been trying to tell me that my youngest sister IS a mistake. A mistake made by adults, that have caused us all to suffer.

"Don't you agree? She's really a mistake what. Born out into this world for what. Mum should have aborted her last time lor. Walao," these are the frequent screams that I have been hearing all along. Although I have been chiding my sister, but it just wouldn't stop her from saying those mean things. So what more can I say? Except keeping myself quiet at the corner of the room.

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According to professionals, avoiding quarrels and making sure that the family bonds together, is a very important.
Now, let teh-goodbyes.blogspot.com relates with you on:
HOW TO MAINTAIN GOOD

RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY.

1. Listening as a way to help another person, sometimes called "cathartic" listening.
Listening is an exceedingly important type of communication between one person and another, and it involves the process of releasing emotions, sharing problems, as well as ventilating feelings. The positive actions that can be used to show empathy when one is releasing emotions, sharing problems or etc, is to do some actions that can show your concern towards him/her. The speaker invites you into his/her private world and there, you have to show that you are really with the person. How can you do that?
- By communicating in a non-verbal way. For example, a nod of the head, a smile or maybe, lifting your eyebrows, can indicate agreement.
- Basic verbal expressions. For example, "Uh-huh, Hmm, Ok, Really?!" not only able to show that you have been listening to the speaker, but also giving a form of encouragement to the speaker.
- Complax verbal expressions. For example, "What happen after that? What did he do to you?", these can give the speaker a good feeling, and the bond between both of you might be closer.

2. Don't look for people to blame, find solutions instead.
Don't use words like, "It's all your fault!" or "Its YOU!". Blaming others will not solve the problem, but it will worsen the situation. Therefore, when things go wrong, don't just look for someone to blame. Keep the family together and turn the effort towards finding a solution. In doing so, analyze the circumstances as well as the motivations of those involved, and take the action that is necessary to put the situation back on track.

3. Forgiveness.
The types of apologies that are most common in our lifes, however, it has very different meaning, though in the end, it still meant sorry.
i. "I'm sorry"
It is commonly used, and has different depths of sincerity depending on how you say them. It has lost its usage for serious occasions and it can be several times a day.
ii. "I apologize"
This, definitely has more significance, however if misused, problems will still not be resolved. For example, one day, a man wants to apologize to my secretary. He began his so-called apology, "You misunderstood me." This immediately led to an argument, because it implies that the secretary was at fault, and the situation grew worse than it was before. If he could rephrase what he meant, the situation might be different.It would also have called for a difference in attitude if man says, "I apologize. I did not make myself clear." One of the most gracious responses to an apology.
iii. "Please forgive me. I have offended you."
This is meant for a more serious occasion. For example, it would be definitely more appropriate to say, I know I hurt your feelings last night with the things I said about the dinner. I am truly sorry. Please forgive me." This sounds more sincere and will make your life easier.

4. Control your anger.
Sometimes, anger can serve as an eventful purpose. Especially when a person has something stuck in her craw, and anger is needed to let it all spill out. An exchange of emotions will come, and a follow up of rational. However, excessively getting angry is not a very good sign. It shows how much one feel for the relationship and it also depends on the ability to identify the problem and the willingness to change over.
"Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry at the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not easy."
-Aristotle

5. Praise
There are 3 types of praise in this society.
- The social compliment.
- Praise designed to build self-esteem, to motivate, and to help build character.
- Praise designed to build relationships and encourage cooperation.

For family, we fall into the 2nd and 3rd category.
Praise and appreciation are crucial in the development of our self-images and how we think and feel about ourselves. A good self-image not only affects a person's well-being, but it influences performance as well.
Praise forges bonds of mutual respect, especially in relationships in which people want to please and do for each other. An alternative to encouraging cooperation is the attempt to force or pressure individuals into taking the action you dictate. Definitely, by your superior power, you can make a 3-year-old do things, but you cannot make an adult do things. An adult has a choice of their own. He or she can quit the job, in one set of circumstances, or in another quit the relationship. When an adult quits a marriage, thats when divorce comes into the picture.

6. Expressing Gratitude
Expressing gratitude makes both person happy. Be it the giver, or receiver. Some words that were just supposed to be said, for the sake of saying, to another person, you do not know how much these words mean to her/him.

7. Bringing a bad news across, by using a considerate way.
Try to be as composed to yourself as much as you possibly can is an important requirement in presenting bad news to another person.

So now, with all the 7 tips in hand. Maintain a good relationship with your family members, because no matter what happen be it now or in the future, they will always be the ones by you. Cause they love you. You are blood related. and Blood is thicker then water :)

PS: I got this inspiration from, 'The 7HABITS of highly effective teens' HEH HEH, & mine's '7tips of maintaining healthy family relationship'. HAHAHA :)

Oh damn.
Liying is emo-ing again. =/

Goodbye.