disintegrate

rate

Actually, i wanted to post about junkai.
LOL, as promised.
but, im freaking tired to. ._.

alright alright.
time to slp.
NIGHTS.

SOMETIMES, the heart takes unexpected turns :)

WOOT.
i slept for 6hrs in total for 2 days.

my F&N is only at the 6th page, and im like so struggling to finish it. ._.
Anyway. today lesson was boring. Luckily there's no english, or i REALLY will get bored to death.
Had Maths IP coaching today until quite late, was taught vectors.

Vectors was really one of the UN-understandable topics, but i got it today!!
YIPEEEE!
& Had extra 'IP coaching' with miss low after the scheduled one. FINALLY learnt shearing. Cos' i don't understand the stupid lesson one. + MISS LOW LA. keep knock her marker against the metal thingy. ZZ. made me no mood maa.

alright alright, im off to finish my wei ni si lian ren :D <3

Sorry for not being able to blog this 2 days, because i have been rushing out for my F&N coursework which is sort of due-ed tomorrow, and i havent't finish it.

Im bound to get punishments, so im not going to care so much anymore.

anyway, i really think miss low have a serious attitude problem. HAHH. ._.

F&N sucks

episode: 20

i love those around me. like those who have always been spending time to cheer me up.
like my sisters. :D
THANKS babes

Tag replies:
Candy: MUHAHAHA. its a not bad timing already ok. :)
Hide: Fag you bitch. HAHA.
Christine: i love you. HAHA :D

Love, is so unpredictable.

At least, the feeling you gave me is like this.

Current show: 威尼斯恋人 (wei ni si lian ren)
@ Episode 13,
Rating: 4/5 -> so far

STRONGLY recommended. :D

Love can't be explained.

justlikemyloveforyou

发烧 - fever

nice song.

I think that i should just forget you,
the thought of you leaving me anytime, makes my heart drop dead.

Today was rather enjoyable.
HAHA.
I finished those basic papers already.

THAT MEANS, I'M FREE.
officially for the next 2weeks i guess.

I don't care la. :)

Anyway, i've realised. Mum&Dad doesn't restrict me to using computer already. Im SO-OH-HAPPY. Now i can on my com until 1am, and she doesn't nag at me already.
MUHAHAHAAHA.
is this the 1st time to having my own freedom? :D i hope so.

I don't care what you want to do to me, i don't care what you think of me in your
heart, i only know. No matter what, i'll be here, for you.
BOOHOO. believe me? :D
&, i think. it's not love. haha.

Tanya: HAHAHA. me too. That's why, its a miracle for my N's. HAHA.
Tinex: Thanks :) I will. HAHA.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH
"If you din score well for your 1st term(commontest), i'm going to whack you and confiscate your handphone. I don't care if you want to file a police report or not, i'm already warning you, & you better make sure you don't fail any of your subjects. I know you all not happy, but i don't care." - storms off angrily said my dad.

~~WHAT THE FUCK.~~
This is my reply to your 'threaten'.
-If you din score well for your 1st term(commontest), i'm going to whack you and confiscate your handphone. Its abusing okay. noob.

-I don't care if you want to file a police report or not, i'm already warning you, & you better make sure you don't fail any of your subjects. Count yourself my father.I already started common test, Not only you DID NOT enoourage me, you still say this type of things to me, want whack come lor. & pls la. Mum is already unwell. You know i won't file any report. Sucker.

-I know you all not happy Yes i'm really not happy lor. With your ~~fucked up~~ attitude

-but i don't care I know you don't care, if you care, you wont be even mentioning about the drop from Express to Normal Academic. If you care, you won't be forcing your daughter to get her grades, despite her trying fucking hard to. I've put in alot of effort in this term's common test & this is what i've got from you.

" Want to learn from her is it, one year of her life. here got one life example for you to see how stupid is she, you all don't want to learn is it? " you said this to my sisters just now.

So this is what you want? Despise me to the core already la. Does it mean that i need to give up on my studies and let you do whatever things you want to do to me? Isn't it worse if you force me to study last year, and i flunked my O levels, ending up in a super terrible school, super terrible course den you happy is it. nb.

Mum too, have been saying that i've made her lose face, because I i demoted to Na, I mean, whats the big deal about it. I know mum meant well, she want me to study hard to let her earn back all her 'face' and 'dignity' that she had lost to my relatives and her friends. I will study hard, and will not disappoint you mum. You know i meant what i say.

Enough of the complains,
6papers down,2 more to go
History was kinda tough today, & i think i'm going to flunk it terribly. -sigh. I believed i've put in much effort for the past 2 years, especially on history, but every year i'm still flunking it. What is this.
Physics, i think i can pass, but, it will not be a good pass. Its kinda tough, and according to Doreen, those questions were in Tenyearseries, but we haven got our book yet. So yea. its bad.

Enough of grievances,
I know its time to study real hard already, & studying is rather important.
AHH
i just remembered, F&N coursework(research) is due on 29Febuary, which means i only have a week to do.
ARGHH

On the lighter note, i've bought 2 books today from popular, & it costed me $26 for both books. HAHA. cheap right. Its under discount now, so yea, grab your book now. :D
One is The Escape, the other is One night stand.

Tomorrow is Chemistry paper,& here i go.
off to study.

When the time had came, I only have the courage to stay by you, but i cannot bring myself to

tell you, how i feel for you. Well, the time might not be up yet. or maybe, this is not love.

hais.

4 papers down, 3 more to go.

I think im really going to give up on 'Conflict, Deplomacy&Deterrence'. Like today's Social Studies, that chapter came out, and i don't understand a single thing. -tsk tsk.

Sigh.
Boy & that girl broke off. Cause that girl. ~~//Cannot Make It.~~
Don't know who is loves her more. Jialat luh. That girl is stupid.
Boy called me just now, & told me what happened. Although not in detail, but somehow i got the whole story. :/
Don't be sad boy. you still got me.

& Now, I seemed to be a happier person, -you know why- :)

4E2 Fajar Secondary.
Name: Apple (in friendster)
Anyone know her please tell me. thanks :)

chaos.

Test,& tests.
Its the TEST week, and all of us are struggling ~~to score,~~ or rather, to pass our tests.

Chinese paper was yesterday, and i think im going to do so badly.
Yarkam came to my house yesterday to practice and study Grammar for today's English & somehow, English today was quite eaasy =x I THINK.

I'm somehow studying for Social studies now, as well as tuning in to verseradio. Playing Angela Zhang's - Qin Ai De, Na Bu Shi Ai Qing

So random, I needa continuing studying. I've disappointed tooo many people, & now, this year is the only year for me to do all the neccessary brushing ups. Jiayou ying. :)

Day after day, awaiting for calls that seemed like impossible. Waiting for my phone to ring, with your name stated on it. Boy, i have many questions to ask you. Where have you been, What have you been doing, How are you doing, Are you okay, Is your girlfriend treating you good?
Did you miss me? :/ Sighh. I miss you boy.

Time is something that im racing against.
& i have no time to waste anymore.

Especially, time loving you.

im so gonna change all to energy studying.
I believe i can.

~~& zx,im so sorry.I dont mean casting you aside by any means.I just wanna concentrate on studying.~~

Was stuck home the whole day today,
studying, but until now, all those chinese linking sentences i still cannot remember.
*SCREAMMMMMS

but im so going to study so hard,
to get into the course i want in poly.
& im going to start now.

As in, NOW.

study timee
chaos.

I thought that love is just something external.

Today, I got up early in the morning, like 8.30 and woke yarkam up at 9am when she was only supposed to wake up at 9.30. =x
Went with sisters to Jurong Entertainment centre to sing.
My throat was hoarse already, and it got worse much later.
After that we went to Christine's house and took some stupid Mvs. HaHa.
After that we played mahjong. LOL.
damn funny.

Ps. They got quite pissed while playing with me, cos either my reaction too slow, or i throw the tile before taking a tile. HAHAHAHA.

Alright, chaos.

TODAY was a belated Valentines' celebration with sisters.

had steamboat over at chinpin's housee.

Enjoyed our day there playing, fooling around and dancing in front of siokyit's camera, posing as the future star of Singapore. HAHAA. Ate ALOT of food, and im still bloated until now. Jokes and laughters fill the air as we spend our 5 hours there. Took tons of pictures, and im so gonna put them up below.

Anyway, boy called me just now. He seemed happy with his current life, being a gangster, with piercings all over, smoking, police cases, fights and etc. & i so can't believe that his girlfriend said nothing. RAWR

Anyway, pictures time:

Enjoy!

nights,

Happy Valentines' &

Friendship Dayy!

Thanks for all the little presents from all of youu.
HAHA.
Even though it seems that today is a lonely one. But i have the accompany of verseradio, as well as my beloved computer, because, i realise alot of the singles are online on MSN so as to avoid seeing couples on the streets.
I'm tuning in to verseradio now, with Faris Lim as the host for the Valentines' Day special programme. And i just made a dedication:

HI!
Happy Valentines' Day,
i want to dedicate the song, " Because you love me." by, Celine Dion.
Message:
To you,
i know you should be listening to the radio now, cos you have
asked for the url just now from me, i know that time had passed so fast,
especially the times when i really
got so close with you till we nearly got
together. I used to refrain my heart from attracting with yours,
because you are a year younger than i am. I know it's wrong to go against my own
heart. Now, i got my own punishment. I love you. But i can't bring
myself to tell you how i feel for you. Even if i have the guts to, i can't
because, you are attached already.
Nevertheless, i wish you all the best with your girl, and
last long. I promise to be here whenever you need me, and not to be the obstacle in your relationship.
Happy Valentines' day. and if you know who i am saying,
"hi,i love you"

From, Apple.

Celine Dion - Because you love me

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

CHORUS:
[ You were my
strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me ]

You gave me
wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love
I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
But I know
this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

[CHORUS]

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

[CHORUS]

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

im getting emotional.

我爱的人，不是我的爱人
.
.
.
我爱的人，他已有了爱人

Tomorrow going to ChinPin house for a belated Velentine's celebration. We will enjoy.
Happy valentines,
nights,

Sometimes,
people will behave like themselves only when the surrounding made them behave so. Sometimes,
when certain things get over our minds, or when our minds get over these things thats we don't want to come across, we will tend to flare up. Just like what happened recently in school.

I don't want to talk about it anymore, since it's pretty much over.
I really think that it's time for all of us to do some soul-searching.
Especially you. :)

Valentines' day is coming so fast.
and its hannah's birthday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY hannah!

Now, i think i shall just stay at home and celebrate Valentines' day alone, or rather, celebrate it with my mum. HAHAHH. i think its a much better choice ya? :)

Just completed my F&N proposal, sent for printing.
and i'll be off to bed, like so soon

nights,

Life, is a very interesting term.
Friends, is something that we can't leave without.
Studies, is something we all hate, but we have to do.
Habit & Attitude are things that we try to swing away, but it still will come back no matter what.
Love is something, that i can don't have. At least for the time being.
:)
Hi,
~~i love you~~.
However, im not going to. :D
Studies come 1st, right?
cheers

I will post about the past few days during the chinese new year, that i didn't blog about.
on 8thfeb to 10thfeb.

8th feb - uncle's house & reunion with bro,girl and durian :)
Went to uncle's house and stayed there only until all the relatives come, and i left. Left at about 6.30pm and went to orchard to meet bro,girl and durian, as well as girl's kor kerian. :)
We went to mandarin hotel - 'chatterbox' and then headed to girl's houseee!
Let the pictures do the talkinggg!!

My liittle niece,

My mum's parents, with my big aunt, 2nd aunt, 3rd aunt and my unclee.

Chatterbox,

Girl's house. KTV room :)

9th feb - was supposed to stay at home.
Went to 5th aunt house, when i was supposed to stay at home, and go no where! Thanks to mum, for organising that trip, thats why i can't finish all my homework ): However! had fun over there, and the beautiful scenaries of her housee, i will never forget. All the laughters all of us had, HAHAHH. ^^

The beautiful scenaryy.

When i was on the car, to aunt's house.

GAMBLING den =x

See lady luck fell upon herr, my big aunt. She won $202 within 30minss :D

10th feb - went to 4 places.
Kenny's house, Mr ong sin teck's house, my godma's house and big aunt house.
Went to yenteng's house outside to wait for her, decided to trick her, and apparently she fell for it. LOL. :)

Enjoyed my day at mr ong's house, and how generous is he! to give us each $10 angbao. wow. :)
Mrs Ong's students from SJI came too, and we hadd fun together with them. Some played bluff with them, the rest were talking to Mr ong!

Me and yenteng :)

At my godma's house, i FINALLY got to see my little nieceee. Missed my godma and godpa. :) finally got to see them, miss my sisters too. Will want to visit them very often already. Cause, i really miss them laa!

My neiceee!! GENEVIEVEE! (:

Went to big aunt house, and enjoyed gambling. LOL. 2nd round for me, 3rd round for them. hahaha. had fun! But didn't stay till quite late, cause its school dayyyy the next day ):

ME and valerie :)

Thats all folks :)

you know something?
it's hard to forget someone. ):

The best shoe is not one that is beautiful, but one that you can wear
comfortably. The best shoe will then, bring you to explore the
different part of the world.

I got enlightened. Its the same theory for a relationship. A boyfriend is not one who can give you face, because he is handsome, good looking, cute or whatsoever. Its not. A good boyfriend is one who can make you feel comfortable whenever you two are talking, or one whom you can confide into without any difficulties, and you might just want him to be there whenever you need him to. And with that, you two will go far.

I've lost the guy whom i've described above. He's gone. I thought that i would like someone else, but yes. He's gone. He have another girlfriend already. And i guess, he love her very much, and he don't need me anymore. I used to take for granted and thinking that he will always be there for me, but apparantly, i was wrong. How i wish i could turn back time, so that he will be back to my side. Now its like so hard, for me to talk to him for just a few sentences. Its so hard.

When he ignore me, that period of time was terrible. Now when we are better already, its still equally bad. sigh~ I really hope that time could turn back to where we were last time. sigh. boy, i miss you, like so much. i miss the you of the past. The last time you, will you come back please? Hais, ):

I love you boy, last long with your girlfriend. And im SO going to forget you already. but no matter what, still my boy. i love you..

A new day, a new year, a new beginning.
Its the Chinese New Year, which symbolizes a new year for the chinese.
HAPPY NEW YEARR.

Me and my spastic sister, :D

Went to grandmother's place in the morning and settled our breakfast there,

After which went to my mum's godma's house. Which is also my godgrandmother. We ate lunch there, and the food were deliciouuuuuus. Although its just like repetition, cause she cook the same things every year. And played with auntie's hamster. SO CUTEE !!

Then went upstairs to my mum's godsis house, which is my godauntie. Her house is SOOOOOOO nice! I'm serious, and i swear you will love the house if you see it. I will put up pictures of the family soon once auntie send me the pictures we took. and you can see. omg. its so nice.

Then rushed back from sengkang to teckwhye and met up with hannah and henzy. Henzy showed some magic tricks and i got real STUN. Those magic tricks ain't normal tricks, i swear. HAHA. me and hannah took a long time figuring it outt. AND we still cannot figure out despite seeing it endless times. After that went to hannah's auntie house to meet them, with hannah's dad and mum. We were asked to help clear the food there, cause there's ALOT. AT LEAST 8 dishes, LOL.

Henzy performed his magic tricks over there, and they got like really so amazed like us. HAHA. And joshua ( hannah's brother) , finally got to see him after a year? Esther toooooo. But too bad, grace can't recognise me, like omgwtfbbqhax. D:

Hannah came my house after that, and we chatted. Like after so long, a good chat. Then she went back to her auntie's house.

And i used computer until now.

enjoyy,

Happy chinese new year to alll.
may all strive in O levels and luck, wealth and all the GOOD things will follow you all year round!! Treasure your love ones, and heyyaa.
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
takee GREAT care :D

nights,

Im practicing for the 'deejay test' or something lydat, and im like so stressed up now.
waiting for Faris to finish recording his traffic updates and ya, im going to read them. ._. I think my english pronunciation is so pathetic. LOL. omg! save me.

I need a break,
but i can't stop my passion from pushing me forward.
I gotta strive.
Jiayou ying.
i know i can do it.

jiayou. :)

Just had a 6-minute interview with Mr Faris on air @ verseradio. He asked me alot of stupid questions la! lols.

Anyway, beside the question, i got a question to ponder.
Should i celebrate birthday with him this wed? =/
im still considering.
2days without contacting him.
wow. :)

It have been a few days since i last blogged.
have many things to share.

Firstly,
I wonder if all of you have dreams.
dreams that will bring you to greater heights.
I was given a red packet to donate for the people who are disabled, and made to view a video about them. And suddenly, i had this thought.

Why those people who have disabilities can do what they want to do, and normal people like us, who are capable of doing things we want, are refraining ourselves from doing so.

People like them, have been trying really hard, to do things they wanna do. But what about us? Fancy giving up half way. What has the world become of?

One part of the video, i remember vividly, of a man in his fourties, still struggling to make his mother happy, by trying his best to move just one step using his own strength, without the aid of anythings. That part really touched my heart, when he says, " it will make my mum too happy to sleep, if i can walk just 3steps, without the aid of my clutches and wheelchair."

He is trying to hard each day, just to be able to walk 3 steps, but what about us? We have been taking advantage of things, such as, being able to walk, and the ability to think, to make decisions and etc.

So please people, work hard on your dreams. Strive hard to acheive them.

Just like Helen Keller, the woman who is blind and deaf. She became very violent after her mishap, but luckily, she had a good mentor who taught her the right things, and she, had lit up the candles of many people's life.

You too, can make a difference. Put in effort in whatever you should be doing, and you will succeed, just like helen keller, as well as the man with disability. One day, all of us can acheive your dream. And if you don't have a dream now, i suggest you to sit down and think about it carefully. Because, you can be taken far away, with just a dream in mind. Work towards it. :)

Secondly,
Had been given a chance to be a deejay,
and i think that i should not give that opportunity up, right?
Although i might not make it big, i might not succeed, but i know, if i don't try now, i might regret in the future, and i'm not going to allow myself from having anymore ~~regrets~~ that will be with me throughout the rest of my life.
Faris asked me to co-host with him on friday nights about the countdown 20 hits, or something like that. Although i know that i am not up to it. But, i should try right! :/

Tune in to http://wishfulnet.com:8000/listen.pls for the internet radio :D

I was really amazed by how things work, when i was given an opportunity to be on air with him, through the phone. Until now, i still could not believe that i did it. so yea, since i could. So can you. :)

Thirdly,
I just could not stand kids these days.

Xueqi and Xiang Wei got 'bullied' by these 4 kids, aged 8 and 11 while doing project down Xiangwei's block. I think that it is rather ridiculous, for riding a bike and cycling across those things that both of them had done, for the past 3 hours or so. Afterwhich, came back and splash water at Xueqi, threw things at both of them, and even cursed and sweared at both of their parents. According to the mum of 2 of the kids, they are from Kranji Primary School. How terrible! I could not stand the bullying, and the worst thing of all, is that the police didn't manage to do anything to the kids, when it is not even their first time doing it! Despite so, the police kept urging both of them to let the matter rest. I mean, if the incident happened to both of the police officers, i don't think they will want the matter to rest so easily right. RIDICULOUS. LOL @ the police officers for arriving later than honglin to catch those kids. LOL once again

Second incident was that i heard from my sister that she got bullied by one of her classmates in school. Someone who sat beside her i suppose. That girl bullied my sister by pulling her hair each time, and throw her things all around on the floor. She even threaten my sister that she want to ask him brother and his brother's friends to help her. LOL @ her. But my sister was smart enough to give her a slap when she pulled her hair today and she could take it no more. I also think that the new teacher that is teaching her seemed to be oblivious to the surroundings. According to my sister, she told the teacher countless times but to no avail. HAH. i think the teacher is also pathetic. ._. ya, so once again. LOL @ the kid, and the teacher.

Fourthly,

The stick house that i did for my sister, was done. And she handed in to her teacher and she got praised :D That stickhouse is about to go out for displayyyyyyyyyy. WOOTS! :D

im tuning in to verseradio, what about you? :D
nights,