disintegrate

rate

Not a single soul will ever believe that my love for you was real.

Today was a school day.
WEATHER so hot ):

I was feeling so pissed off, just early in the morning, because I nearly couldn't wake up. Anyway people, I had a nightmare today.

A nightmare that I would only love to share with my dear readers,
i dreamt of him. ._. i think because i think too much about him already bah. haha. I dreamt of us back at that swing. Sweet memories, bitter present, sour future. I miss you. AHHH. ):
Hannah wants me to go for it, i don't want. Bitter.
Anyway,its been rather long since i really go out with bran. don't really wanna talk about out past memories already, since its already in the past. Then let it past. Although i'm like letting it hang there, not trying to do anything to this relationship that we both still possess. I know you love me, me too. but, its not the time yet.

OHYES, back to topic.
Intensive Chinese Programme I hate.
That Mdm Yong NEVER fails to make me sleep. A very good sleeping pill. I bet her husband thinks this way too. hahaha. And i wonder how her child can tolerate her. =/ Like seriously.
Sichuan Earthquake is getting worse and worse, more and more people dying each and everyday. Hey baby. Save the earth.

--------------------

Hey boy, you are one reason why am i still living now. Really. Strangers coming in, and out of my life. You came, and never once did left. Oh boy, I am soooo obsessed with you, yet I can do nothing to stop these things from happening. I don't want to continue loving you, but you left me with no choice. I always hope that I will see light at the end of the tunnel, or maybe, see you. But, you left me alone there. Struggling to find a way out. Ohwell, you left me alone once, im going to leave you there too. That would only be fair this way. Bran, forget me. So that i will be able to forget you. With you here, still lingering in my mind, i cannot accept anymore new guys, or new guy friends into my mind.
8months without a boyfriend. It is the greatest acheivement i ever had.
But yet, i need someone to pull me out of the crowd(like hannah). I need someone to help me out when i'm lost. I need someone to carry my things for me when I have not enough hands. I need someone to hold my hand, and support me. Boy, all these things, both of us can never do together. So please, take it as you are giving yourself a chance, or giving me a chance.
Please, forget me, and get out of my life. Im sorry to be so rude, but please, really. I really wanna try to forget you.
5years you left me unattended.
Boy, Continue doing the same thing. Live your own life, have a girlfriend who love you more than i used to do. Have a girlfriend who will love you with all her heart, unlike me. I'm nothing compared to you. If you are Heaven, Im hell. Even though you did SOMUCH things to me. SOMUCH that its totally uncountable. You know what i'm saying, so i'm not going to mention. Just like heaven and hell, so big difference, so far apart. This is us. Now do you understand? ):
Although i cant bear to part you too. This is a very painful decision made by me. I don't want to leave you too boy. but i cant. You know where you should go. Not with me, somewhere else. You are able to soar high, far.
Boy, for the last time. Last time I hope. (if i can ever stop saying this), i love you.
& it still pains to say this now, still. Like that day when i part with you.
Goodbye my love, goodbye my dear boy, goodbye.

& to let you know, if you ever doubt. My love for you is real.

Loves.